How to handle people reaching out to "pick ny brain"?

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Sounds like the type of email I get 10 times a day and mark as spam.

Not an asshole, and your instinct is right: put a price on it (a paid hour or a short call package), since anyone serious will happily pay and the freeloaders self-filter out, and it turns the annoyance into a revenue line.

You know you are so right about listening to my instinct. Thank you, that was really helpful. I guess that's why I posted. As mentioned, I feel somewhat flattered, but also annoyed when people approach me like this. That feeling was a bit icky I suppose and made me feel like a bit of an asshole, but I certainly do not owe anyone my time or brains and would be right in charging for my time way beyond what coffee would cost lol.

depends if i have the problem you are trying to solve. I'll completely ignore people that want to talk to me trying to find a problem I'll talk to the people that are like "Hey I also were in your business and I dealt with these problems and I think I made some software to solve it. It freed me up 10 hours a week.

Oh yeah, no. They are usually just starting out, as is the same with this most recent one. Just starting out in my industry, no previous experience, steep learning curve etc. I'm just like... yeah, keep learning and get back to me.

And asking for it for free. Because you know all that knowledge you have...a lot of it was given to you for free. Makes you think maybe it's immoral to hoard knowledge that has a marginal approaching zero cost to replicate.

I'll admit I've learned many valuable lessons over the years. Someone else in this thread said 10 years of experience and knowledge can't be transferred over coffee anyway, which is very true! Anyway, appreciate your perspective 🙋🏼‍♀️

Haha at least you've put the question somewhere people can answer when they feel like it. Coffee can mean setting aside time and travelling before you've even heard what the person needs. I think that's a fair bit more to ask, especially if it's just 'tell me how you built your business'.

Skip the coffee, just send them a link to your new coaching package when you launch it. Most will suddenly realize how busy they are.

😂😂😂

This is exactly how we handled it. Our firm created a simple advisory package that included a materials review and one hour with a partner to answer any business questions and offer their insights. Our two partners set their hourly rate. If you value our firm’s insight, you should be willing to pay for it. All requests go through their shared executive assistant who says ‘that’s a wonderful request, we have a program for that!”. Done.

That will prune them down

That is probably the most efficient way to find out who is actually interested. Funny how people suddenly become too busy when there is a price attached. At least you will not waste an hour on a coffee meeting with someone who was never serious in the first place.

The best part is it turns an awkward no into a simple yes with a price tag. OP doesn’t have to feel like the bad guy, and it’s a lot easier than coming up with a new excuse every time someone asks.

Ten years of judgment doesnt transfer over one coffee, so the competitor fear is overblown. What they leave with is a few tips they couldve googled, what you leave with is someone who sends you the clients too big for them Busy, reach out later just guarantees they reach out later

I second this strongly. Free samples are normal.

This is very true. Yep, and I told them to reach out later because I really am busy and wanted to take a beat on how to handle this going forward.

Similarly: Set up a calendar that accepts bookings on specific days at specific times, and make it $xxx to $x,xxx to actually finalize the booking. I saw something recently that I loved, which was a guy's website and if you wanted to fill out and submit the contact form, it was $20.

Nice! I like it. Reminded me, I have also been working on a start up with all that entails with regards to raising capital and investors. Learned a lesson there. Investors always want you to jump through all the hoops and apply and whatnot. I became kind of sick of it, so now I have an application form for potential investors on my site. Still waiting for an opportunity to use it haha. Have a good Sunday!

I do believe in ‘if you are good at something, don’t do it for free’ yes there are some exceptions, probably a family member or a really close friend, but anyone who is a stranger or acquaintance shouldn’t get to pick your brain about something you’re good at without a fee

OP this is the answer you’re looking for!

100%! My husband (business partner) and I have a saying: Keep it in the family. So I'll add to this, CLOSE friends and family 😂 And I'm also taking your advice, I'm good at something, so I won't do it for free!

Here's the other thing I learned the hard way. People tend to not value the people that helped them for free. I'm a career coach. I've helped over 100+ people for free. I'm talking where I spent like 2 to 3 hours writing their resumes and guiding them. 70% don't even update me when they get a job. Not even a thank you. I rarely ever get referrals from them. But my clients? They are the ones who send me referrals and go out of their way to thank me and give me intros.

I'm a career coach, too!

Haha small world! I get people who are interested in becoming career coaches and they are a waste of time. I find that it's great to network with other career coaches. If you're open to networking, let me know. I promise I won't pick your brain lol.

I’m an executive & career coach and saaaaame. One of my core values is generosity, so I do try to find opportunities to give. I’m just very realistic about how much effort I spend on pro bono work.

Hayyy! Me too!

Why not? I mean you say it like it obvious but ..why not?

Not an asshole: reply with "happy to help, I do paid sessions for this, here's my rate," and the serious ones will pay while the freeloaders drop off on their own.

I really like this approach. Low effort with potential reward and I also don't have to create a whole package. I was thinking of charging around $5K for business development coaching, which could look worthwhile if it was more spelled out. But it might not need to be too complicated! Thank you for your input, I appreciate it!

Everybody is different. The fact that you didnt reach out to others for help along your journey to success is probably why it doesn't feel natural for you to give that service. So many people have helped me along the way that now I really enjoy giving back. But I agree that I wouldnt want to give my playbook to a potential competitor

You're an asshole: I don't think you are but I saw everyone saying you're not so I took it upon myself to give you a conflicting answer because the Internet can never 100% agree on anything.

Thanks and I appreciate the sanity check 😂

Reddit needs more chill people like you. Great attitude. 😀

i know your time is valuable. bc you have nothing better to do on your nights or weekends, would pls impart your life experience or mistakes you made so that i learn them without costing me money or time. can we meet sometime for coffee? i want to pick your brain to make me get rich. i promise i will buy you the coffee.

I mean they had time to complain about it here? /Shrug Not sure it's that valuable.

I gained so many cool new and differing perspectives which was why I posted it here. I really question my reactions sometimes and did wonder if I were being and asshole. FTR, I haven't brushed the person who asked off, it just made me take a beat and ask myself how to handle this going forward as I have had several similar requests lately. I just told her to check back in in a few weeks as I am busy with clients and have several deadlines coming up.

i js wanna say i loved this reply. sometimes the opposite reaction can make us have knee-jerk reactions, which help us figure out what we really think hah

Tell them the category under which the solution they’re asking for is specified as ((MVP, PMF, traction, prototype, sales prop, etc.) while on the call. Tell them research there is where they will find their answer specifically. This way a pointer has given them value for their time and credibility for you. Tell them if you want a specific solution developed (or articulated now), your rates are for this kind of work is (you’ll know approximately at the time gauging the issue description as related) X dollars and takes y time. Every successful consultant I’ve ever seen paywalls, and everyone tries the freebie first. If it’s a referral make sure your network knows your prices and turnarounds.

I realize the irony in me picking your brain now, but what would a freebie look like. The coffee might be the freebie. Perhaps I could take the coffee, listen to her problems, and then offer up a solution and offer. Treat her as a potential client. That's what I would do with a potential client to be fair.

The freebie is giving them information with out charging them

A freebie would be the line you cross over when the data you talk about solves the problem at no charge. Colored me jaded, but I’m profitable. The best you can do for a friend is charge them cost no profit. No true friend going to take what you do to put bread on the table and cause you a loss. If it’s a problem they are gonna be stranded on the reef without - and that’s a low probability scenario or a individual who isn’t good at business and should maybe become an employee somewhere where the don’t have the problem they’re asking you to solve for free. If you are doing well and can afford a loss (and the friendship relationship value is more valuable than the income) that’s a different story and many times many have done that. You don’t want to be absolute zero a bad sport. But if these are people who have businesses that they are not sinking or calling in a debt they will pay back with benefits because it helped in the criticality context, I’d evaluate the benefits of the future relationship in a professional context if you do freebie. How they are in the market compared to you is another feather I would put on the scale. Lastly, you can avoid a lot of this all the time by establishing a well know professional relationship boundary and rebroadcasting it in the local business community in the reg so if your network makes a referral they will do the downfield caveats so you may not have to speak these kinds of words. My professional BG is in extract throat songbird scenarios like Hollywood and the Las Vegas strip. I’ve also done extremely conservative sectors of economic markets like architecture, medicine and IT. No matter where I have been professionally, everyone everywhere has a clear and friendly line about profit and loss they have crossed only when the personal relationship factor outweighs or tips the scale when there are many factors besides a personal relationship. So do what consultants are good at, dance the dance with words regarding both sides of the coin of cost and benefit in the go/no go equation and soft shoe the brain picker with no down the line or too abstract or too little remuneration long term, and maintain a friendly and professional posture. People who don’t respect that are rarely if ever people to do business with and sometimes firing the customer who must be fired comes at the front end of the conversation. Lawyers are adamant in the nicest possible way and there’s sound judgment behind that reasoning. I hope this helps. In the end you don’t want to sweat the customer just the solution they pay for because you have to sleep good at night.

I super appreciate your input. Very valuable. Thank you and you are right. Maybe just lay aside my ego a little bit and dance the consultant dance like you say.

I learned in technology there’s more horse trading than should be. Hope the best works out.

Charge 500 an hour

I was thinking about setting up a whole offer on this as a structured business development and mentoring programme for entrepreneurs and independent consultants. It would cover everything from positioning, business models and pricing to branding, client acquisition and building a sustainable business. I could even include a website. $5K-$10K 🤓

Send them a buymeacoffee link 🤣

Haha. Pre-sale!

I just started and openly share and help. I do have a free 15 minute exploratory with clear posted rates. Just recently a 15 minute call converted to a one hour consult and when I saw the breadth of support they needed further converted them to a bundle I developed. I guess all this to say maybe there’s a market or maybe it’s just a further opportunity. What’s your focus? The site I launched just this week is nurseregistryconsultant.com I’m happy to discuss your approach since this is all new to me. Maybe I’ll buy you a coffee:)

Cool niche! I'm ironically in career coaching and recruitment. People reach out to ask about both, either they want to become coaches or recruiters 😂 I like your approach. People usually ask me via my LinkedIn, as I have a pretty big prescence on the platform, ranked 112th in my country and 3rd in my industry as per Favikon (humble brag again) and they always explicitly ask to buy me coffee because they want to do either or. For people reaching out for actual career coaching though, I have the same approach, free 15 min intro call and usually convert into sessions. I charge $500USD a pop.

Very cool and thanks for sharing. I’ve actually been leaning into LinkedIn for the first time and I’m making some progress there. You can obviously find me through the business I linked so if you wanna follow me, feel free to do so.

And also, HUGE difference in giving advice to people who are a) not in the same industry as me b) not targeting the same clients as me c) not even in the same country as me.

'pick ny brain' in the title. Autocorrect is not your friend.

Oh noes :( It might be auto correct should be my friend as I have it consistently switched off. I prefer good old typing everything out :'( Thanks for pointing it out!

So did you pick anyones brain to get to where you are? Congrats!

First beer free

Yeah, no more coffees. Just beers and wines 😂

Keep a running note of the three questions you get asked most and write a public post answering each one properly, just once. Then your reply to every 'pick my brain' request becomes: here's the writeup, and if you want tailored advice I do 60-minute sessions at $X. It respects your time, still helps people genuinely, and a small fraction will convert into paying clients without you having to pitch on coffee dates.

Very solid input! It's usually something along the lines of 'I want to do what you do. How do I do it?'

Convert it into a revenue stream for sure. For grant writing I would get people who reached out to me for guidance and I would share pieces for free but would charge for templates (especially the budget portion). That’s only fair. Capitalists believe in pulling yourself up by your bootstraps so make em pay and give nothing for free.

I like the divide between the free, somewhat readily available public knowledge and knowing when to cut the line and cross into paid advice.

Your time is your most valuable resource. When you learn that this isn't much of a question unless there are special circumstances imo. Coaching is probably a waste of time if your business makes enough. Just keep it moving and don't feel bad about it

Coaching is part of my business, but no more than 10% of my total revenue. I mostly do it because I enjoy it and people reach out so I don't really sell or market it much.

You could offer consulting calls for a fee. I hate those coffee people. The worst is when they say they got hired by a client and need help with X (for free of course). I’m not getting paid to do your job.

I do free intro calls for other types of clients, as I am a career coach. I mighy use this approach for these coffee people as well.

I have this as well. I meet with them, ask them a lot of questions and let them talk. Give them a few key points they need to do (or figure out, more commonly) in order to move forward. Then I check back in after 2 weeks or so. I get a lot of business and referrals doing this.

Makes sense!

i do a free 20 min intro call. anyone who shows up with a real question gets real answers, and half of them turn into clients anyway. the tire kickers never book, which is the whole point tbh

Nice. What do you do? I also do free 20 minute intro calls for my career coaching clients, perhaps I should just offer the same for business mentoring. At the very least, it sets the scene for understanding my time is valuable. I did try it one time, but the guy didn't end up booking. Wonder why... XD

we run a small app studio. the no shows happen to us too lol, a reminder email the day before plus a confirm link cut them down a lot

Sounds cool!

This community is pure trash

This.

Happy Cake Day, though 🤷🏼‍♀️

“That’s not a question I can answer now. Why don’t you come into my office and we’ll have a formal meeting to discuss it further”

Nice one!

Famine mentality, but I get it. Some people don't want the knowledge to spread because they fear they will lose it all from competition. At the same time, who's guy the time to consistently do it?

I really am very busy with clients these days, so of course I will prioritise the clients.

"Yeah, where do you want me to send the invoice?"

Yup!

Tons of people gave me their time when I was getting started and I am happy to do the same now that I'm further along. I do try and do a quick phone / teams screen before agreeing to more than 15 mins. I like being helpful but I don't want to waste time on people who aren't serious / don't listen / I can't help. When I meet someone who is serious, working hard and seems capable, I always find time for them.

And I have as well over the years. I guess I'm just reaching the point where it's at least once a month and I'm an entrepreneur, so why not try to create a new revenue stream lol. I really tried to think about who I've reached out to over the years for help and input like this and I can think of one time, and when I did made damn sure to pay them. Maybe I can find more, but... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Make a course host it on gumroad

I'll look into that for sure. Thanks for your input!

You're being an asshole. 10 years ago you were in their shoes.

And 10 years ago I worked like a slave under a boss who I'll admit saw something in me and took me under her wing, but I also helped to contribute to her firm tripling their in 3 years. Before I joined they had done the same numbers for the past 10 years, and after I left, the growth stagnated. I am more than happy to help people out, but do you feel it's unfair to feel like that should be compensated? Especially from a potential direct competitor who is openly targeting the same clients as I am? Thank you for your input, I appreciate a good sanity check, so I will take what you say and reflect on it for sure.

Lol this tells me everything I need to know about your narcicism.

Are we or are we not entrepreneurs in this sub? But ok, notes taken. I appreciate your input 🙋🏼‍♀️

Have then take you to lunch.

No such thing as a free lunch. I'll reflect on it for sure though. Some of these replies made me think.

Pick a payment method.

I think offering paid sessions is the best move. You're not being an asshole for valuing your time, and people asking should understand that your experience didn't come for free. The ones who genuinely value your advice won't have a problem paying for it.

You should discover the word "no" ... going to completely change your life. 

No!

If thay want to have a chat it is not a negative point instead utilise this and take advantage of this by getting information from their head and make your boundaries clear that if they want to learn from you just provide them your charges As you are good at your work you should not do it for free.

Very true. And it could be low effort if I do a free intro call and try to convert them to a client. To be fair, I have also been looking for a business partner hah.

That's great 👍 Go for it bro😎

Or they can watch YT vids...

Yes, or spend 10 years building relationships and connections and grinding.

Get a spine and do what you want to do. Say no. 

I'm in a different world (science/biotech) and it's quite common to ask for 20-30 min informational interviews with people and it's a good networking tool for both parties. But I suppose if you don't care about networking or helping others or if they seem like competitors then don't do it.

That reminds me I had someone reach out about a science project!

In same niche and high visibility. You're dealing with the parasocial. What does that mean? It means people think they 'know' you because they see your posts regularly or react to them. Additionally in recruitment recruiters often call to see if can fit into a role or hit a KPI. Many people mistake that for free advice. It's not advice in the former and if it's to hit KPI pretty sure it's not good advice. It does however mean people are pre-conditioned to expect free career advice. I often find myself explaining that I'm not the university careers department or the local government subsidized job centre to pretty senior professionals. Depending on approach, 15 min call.. but these always descend into questions and free advice / overrunning. The 15min is discovery with a view to presenting a package... It's not free advice. Most fail to get this. Alternatively you just flip them an hourly rate or package immediately. I think Calendly integrates with Stripe if you're on premium, so you could send a Calendly link for a 15min call that requires payment. Whatever your hour is divided by 4.

Yes, I am already offer career coaching with Calendly and Stripe integration so was thinking of adding a session like you mention. I offer free intros, and then consistebtly book 90 minute sessions at $500 a pop. You are so right about the parasocial btw!

I’d keep a simple boundary: a quick chat is fine, but if they want specific advice on their business, that’s consulting.

Thinking about doing free intros, and then making it clear what I could help with and what my rates would be.

Send them a link to buy a pick my brush’s 15 minute call No PMB coffees. Ever. Or answer the question in content you share publicly to promote your business

I like the content idea for sure. It could also help build me as a thought leader on the subject.

Yes. When people ask me questions I use them to inspire my next piece of content

Smart cookie!

“I’m happy to answer a couple specific questions over email! Otherwise feel free to book an hour of paid consulting time at xyz (high ticket) rate.” The serious folks will figure out what they need guidance on pretty quickly.

This advice is gold, for real. I told her to reach out again in a few weeks as I'm busy with clients. I'll def use this approach if she reaches out again and also say I'm busy with clients.

Your experience has value, and Is is 100% okay to charge for it. If people keep asking, turn that demand into a paid consulting service. You are not being selfish brother you are setting boundaries.Sometime its OK to help but not dig well for yourself.

Sister. But thanks!

Most welcome, sister! 😊 God bless you and wishing you lots of success with your business. 🙏

This is a pet peeve of mine too. The ask is never coffee, it's unpaid consulting with the invoice removed. I've had companies talk to me for weeks about free pilots then go quiet. Your time has a price. Naming it is the polite thing.

Agreed. I don't think I'd mind helping. I have many times in the past, but this one made me take a beat and realize I'm essentially being asked to train a potential competitor for the price of coffee 🤷🏼‍♀️

Charge them and watch them walk away

Quietly hand them an ice pick, while staring them unblinkingly into the eyes.

The polite version: happy to chat for 15 minutes, here is my calendar link. The honest version: charge for the hour. Brain-picking is how strangers buy your experience at zero price. We give the 15-minute call freely and quote the hour for anything deeper. The people who are serious pay. The rest were never going to.

Tell them they can only pick your brain if they pick your nose first. That will filter out a lot of people.

Yum!

Yeah wouldn’t spend too much time on them if they’re trying to replicate your service, also the coaching part if you think it can be a significant line on your P&L maybe but otherwise it’s a distraction

It's more of a side hustle to my main hustle, so you're right!

You're not being an asshole, your time is literally what you sell. A paid option is a clean way to handle it because it filters people fast, and the ones who are serious usually don't mind. You could also keep a free middle ground, like a short call capped at 20 minutes or a reply pointing them to a few resources, so you're not shutting everyone out. Saying no to the coffee while offering one of those tends to land better than "reach out later."

Thanks! I did see a few people in this thread saying how to give back etc and I appreciate those views as well, but yes. Time is what I sell.. you're right!

Same problem here on the design side. What worked for me: the coffee chat stays free but time-boxed, and anything beyond that - audits, notes, real direction - becomes a paid session. Most people self-select out, and the ones who pay are usually the ones who actually act on the advice.

Makes sense. And I think I'd be fine in letting them know that during a chat.

Le café avec les petits nouveaux, bon. Mais ton passage sur le livre m'intrigue plus: tu l'as écrit et sorti, ce bouquin pour lequel tu avais payé le temps de quelqu'un, ou il est rangé dans un dossier à côté de deux autres projets jamais finis?

Eh oui, le livre est bel et bien publié! Il est même disponible dans les librairies de tout le pays. Comme quoi, il m’arrive aussi de terminer mes projets!

Be helpful and kind to people and it will come back to you. At least that's what I was told.

Kind and helpful is great, but to equate it to being a hair dresser and being asked by people you know to cut your hair for free 🤷🏼‍♀️ This is my source of income. I'd cut your hair if you cut mine though, so there's that!

Le café c'est jamais juste un café, ça finit toujours par deux heures et un "tu pourrais pas me mettre en contact avec ton client X". Fais payer et la plupart des invitations vont disparaitre tout seul.

You should tell them how easy it is and walk away. Like literally tell them that it is easy give them the broad overview and let them figure out things on their own. Or you can point them into some other guy's courses and say even you learned from them. Being modest here will save you a lot of time and mental bandwidth

pick ny brain, huh

New York Brain!

Competitors are my best referral source. Get creative and find out how to monetize the conversation

Oooh, I like this POV!

You are not being an asshole, you are protecting your unpaid working hours. The cleanest filter is having a paid 45-minute advisory link ready to paste. Reply warmly with something like: 'Glad to connect, here is my advisory booking link where we can dive into your specific roadmap.' Serious founders who value your hard-earned decade of experience will happily pay the invoice. The freebie seekers looking to download your proprietary playbook will immediately self-select out without any drama.

So true!

I am always happy to help new people and provide guidance. I would not do that with direct competitors, but if it’s a different venture with overlay, would be happy to help. I however have not seen a successful business owner ask randoms online what they would do about a situation such as this.. lol

“Picking your brain” does not deserve your time. It won’t be worth theirs, either. They don’t know what they want. Just say no, If someone articulates something they are seeking and why they’ve identified you as the person who can help them, sure, I think “giving back” to early entrepreneurs is a good thing. But do it on your terms. Who wants to grab coffee with a complete stranger? Have a call first then go from there.

Appreciate your input. And yes, I also like to help people and have many times in the past. This one just made me think about how to treat these requests in the future.

I think it depends who it is and what they’re asking. I get your perspective though. I started a solo advisory business, and I’m generally willing to talk to folks that reach out. My perspective is that they’re more likely to work for a potential client than become my competition, so I treat it as more of a lead than an opportunity cost. I also only do fixed fee, so it’s not really wasted client hours. I usually work out of a coffee shop and would love a free $8 latte.

I like this POV. Thanks for your input!

i treat "pick your brain" as unpaid consulting with bad scoping. reply with two paid options: a 30-min office hours slot at your normal rate, or a written teardown for a fixed fee. the people who actually need help book. the rest evaporate, which is the filter working.

'Hell yeah I love to talk shop. Here's a link to book a call' 20 minutes $450 1 hour $1k

I used to say yes to these and it quietly ate an hour every week. Now I just send back my calendly link with a $75 fee on it. The serious ones book, everyone else vanishes. Zero awkwardness.

So you do get bookings? Nice! What's your business?

not an asshole lol. Turning it into a paid thing is the cleanest answer because it lets you say yes without giving it away make it a fixed package so there's nothing to negotiate: \- 60 or 90 min call, flat price, paid upfront \- short intake form before the call (where they are, what they want to leave with) \- a one page summary afterward then one reply covers every request: "thanks for thinking of me. I don't do free coffees anymore, but I do paid strategy sessions for people starting out in \[industry\]. here's how it works..." claude or chatgpt can do most of the setup. tell it your industry, who's been asking, and what you'd never share with a competitor, then ask for the package description, the intake questions, and that decline message in your tone. after a session, paste your call notes and have it draft the summary the price is the one thing it can't really tell you. ask a couple of peers what a senior hour in your field goes for

I'm already priced at $500 an hour for private clients in the career coaching space. For business mentoring I think I could or should at least double it. Thank you for picking your brain for me 😂 I realized it was a bit ironic to pick the brain of this community on this topic. Have a great Sunday!

Where's the demand? A few people asked you for free coffee, that's not the same as people willing to pay for coaching. Quote a rate to the next one and see how many follow through before you build an offer around it.

True! The demand may not be there, but there seems to be a good amount of people who are setting up shop who are looking for business mentoring. But you're ofc right!

Depends on how old you are/stage of career or life you are in. The book from Strength to Strength is all about the richness of sharing experience with other people later in your career. Sounds like you might not be there yet but, perhaps, keep it in mind for future you!

Thanks, I'll check it out!

I know a few people who have started offering a paid pick my brain session just for this scenario. 20 mins tops, 50% of their normal hourly rate. If it later turns into someone who hires you, you could always credit it back.

I like that! That's excactly what it is 🤩

you have to understand your time is valuable and if you don't tell them up front people will use you as long as you let them. I don't know what type of business consultant you do but anybody that's trying to start a business knows everything cost money. There're just trying to get something for free. You could make it clear that the first consultation is free. In that first visit just hear them out but don't give them feedback, that will give you time to study your client know if you will be able to help them. I am a contractor, I give free estimates, but there is clients that want a cost breakdown and an explanation of how i will do the job. That point I tell them It will cost them "X" amount of money to draw up some preliminary drawings. If they don't want to spend money on preliminary drawings, then i know they are not serious about their remodel. So, we move on. I feel you should do the same thing.

Charge $2,500 for an hour 🤷

How many is "several" though? A handful of free coffee requests over a year doesn't tell you there's demand for paid coaching. Next person who asks, quote them a rate and see if they actually book.

This is very very true!

Hey that's a skill u earned. If u don't want to waste ur time charge them. If some people can't pay coz of their situation then u take a call per individual basis.

Btw what do u do?

Recruitment and career coaching. Published author. I run a few startups. My husband also does web design, so I handle the client side of that. I dabble! But mostly recruitment.

Can I dm?

I have never reached out to anyone in this manner, and the one time I have" is a sentence that cancels itself out. Pick one.

Fair take!

You've been at this ten years and you're worried about someone who needs a coffee to figure out where to start. Charge them or don't, but calling a beginner a potential competitor is a weird way to be flattered.

Fair take. She specifically targets the same clients as me. But point taken!

I often give people just enough information to inspire them. Without giving them a fool proof blue print. Property wise I give a fair bit of information out and get asked regularly for a convo. It doesn’t really bother me as they aren’t in my area. Online wise I’m more protective of and feel the same as you do, why should I help become a competitor and steal my ideas and efforts.

I like that approach!

Just give them website link and tell them to Submit there project there. If you try to reach me on this platform I will not RESPOND.

lol welcome to being a successful business person. When you retire or close your business watch how they all suddenly stop contacting you

Oooh, true! I guess I'm part of the club now, maybe? And like you say, whwn I close shop, I'm out 😂🥲

haha yeah i guess so :D welcome bro!

nobody reaching out to pick your brain wants wisdom, they want the shortcut for free. put a number on it and watch how many of those 'potential competitors' suddenly never follow up

Ask for a short written brief first, before you agree to anything. What specific decision are they trying to make, and what have they already tried? Most people who want to pick your brain won't do that homework; the ones who do are usually worth a paid hour. If they can't name a decision, there's nothing to consult on. If they can, you have a natural handoff to say this is exactly what a paid session covers. It turns the awkward no into their inaction instead of your refusal. I wouldn't attach a price before that step; a link to a coaching page sent too early just trains them to treat you as a sales funnel.

either sell them a product like you mentioned or automate a response like "These 3 books and these 2 podcasts really helped me out when I was at your stage in the game. all the best"

Don't make the paid offer the first reply. A package link just converts a vague coffee request into a vague paid call, and then you're dealing with scope creep and unpaid follow-ups anyway. The filter should be a written brief, not money. Tell them to send one paragraph on the exact decision they're trying to make or the exact problem they're stuck on. No paragraph, no call. Most people who say "pick your brain" won't do that. They want a free sounding board, not a specific answer. If they do send something concrete, you can decide whether a paid session makes sense or whether the whole thing is too small to take. That also gives you a clean way to say no without feeling like an asshole because the request isn't real yet. The vague ones disappear before you ever quote a rate.

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one angle before you write them all off as competitors. you're solo, so at some point you'll turn down work or need someone to sub in on a big project, and the people asking for coffee now are basically your future bench. keep the playbook to yourself and use a short call to size up whether they're any good. the solid ones become people you can hand overflow to, and they tend to send work back your way when a client is too big for them.

Second hand info fwiw but I heard that consulting is a major strain on you as you prepare for each call. Juice isn't worth the squeeze  What I would do instead, have a generic this is what I did type response and let them know if you ever cross paths in real life and you have a minute you can talk with them