Partner lost $50k trading options worth continuing to pursue?

It’s gambling plain and simple

Tell him to open a paper account (fake money) and prove to you that he can make money doing it before he gets your support. Why in the world would he go back if he proved that he doesn’t know how to make money.

This is the correct answer. If he lost 50k then he need to start with math lessons.

Hard agree. Learn the mechanics of options without actual cash at stake.

Have a paper trading contest and beat him with an index fund.

I’m not sure about paper trading. The fills are better than in real life. How about a small real account?

This is by far the best way to prove why he doesn't need to trade options.

Gambling addiction

This. Your partner is not investing, they're gambling.

If they lost 50k they aren’t good enough at option trading to make a consistent profit. 99.9% of people aren’t, but only the most degenerate addicts continue after they know they aren’t. There are periods where option trading is easier to make consistent profits with. Now is not one of those times.

Well the problem is that 99% fail because they don’t want to put in the work. They get intimidated by all the numbers and data. Then they trade on hope with no understanding of market psychology. Most of the people failing are in early in the dunning Kruger effect.  Also imo if you’re trading spy or index options its the best time to be a volatility or momentum trader. Even scalping is so easy right now.  

Kind of? A large portion of people aren’t capable of it. And out of the ones that are, they might not find it worth the effort and stress.

Fuck no, he needs therapy for a gambling addiction.

as long as those losses were from money your couple was ready to lose ... fine-ish

I lost twice as much... you live and learn. no need to pathologize

If you don't know "exactly" what you're doing with options its best to avoid them.

“I personally don’t know much about day trading or options.” Neither does your partner.

To be fair, most people who do know a lot about day trading lose money.

If they knew about it they wouldn’t do it.

Unless they took the break to work on their psychological/emotional skills, and than their technical skills (backtesting their strategies). And if you don’t see a journal, maybe it isn’t for them. I’m on year 6, and I’m still not fully profitable. But I make small gains that are gaining every week. How long have they been trading?. Have they had a mentor?. What’s your financial situation like? (In dire need of money? Or trading is just extra income?.) — these things can factor on psychology and affect the trading.

Yes it was a break for psychological/emotional. He has started paper trading again. He began trading in January 2025, was making a profit, had a big loss of $10k in March then from May- September 2025 had a total loss of $50k during that time. And then had stopped since then. He has had mentors, and followed people, done challenges etc, and was trading for extra income.

does he know what credit spreads are? Or LEAPS? it sounds like he’s doing the riskiest possible way of options trading.

I’m not sure of anything. I was just trying to gage outside perspective. He was profitable from January- March, until that $10k loss in March. Then from April took a break and then in May that’s when he began trading again and it was just that huge loss from basically March- September. Now I’m here reassessing if it’s worth pursuing again.

This is a psychological issue, not a technical issue. IGNORE these comments that are proposing improvements to trading techniques because they are beside the point.

That big loss was a huge clue. It is a psychological issue. He got overly emotional and spiraled. It happens to a lot of people, especially to someone who has never lost a significant amount of money. If you really support him, have him explain his clear defined rules. His strategy. (What options strategy he uses? What clear triggers are there to open a position). His exit strategy. (R:R, PT etc) His DLL (Daily Loss Limit) His time on floor (screen time or open trading time) When does he scale down? Does he understand market volatility? (Can he say what kind of market we are currently in?) Ask him his favorite Greek?. If he can’t explain that, well he definitely is emotionally trading.

He was gambling. Tell him he can only sell options CSP or CC but can't buy to open. That way he can't gamble and continue to earn premium.

Relationship saving advice right here

Run. Its not gonna stop.

What were his top 3 biggest wins in dollar amount?

How much did that 50k loss represent from the portfolio? This you ask him or check it yourself I dont mind but if the loss is higher than 5% of the porfolio He is not managing risk properly and better to buy ETFs and hold than putting capital at risk, cause after some wins he is going to lose again, we all have losses the difference is the risk management and how much of that loss represents from your portfolio.

The loss was higher than 5% of the portfolio.

Send him to open a paper account as another redditor suggests and tell him to trade there for a year and every month you both check how much us being generated/lost and next year you decide, If he cannot do it for a year is not investment or something he likes for income generation is just fambling and looking for instant gratification which can end up bad

That dramatically changes things. I think people are thinking he lost 50k of 50k.

you misread. loss was more than 5% so it’s not a $1m portfolio 

More context is required. You can easily lose 5% in the S&P in a bad month. Your account size, risk tolerance, and goals make all the difference in judging if 50k is concerning or not.

yes, but I meant per possition. If you had a 100k and lost 50k in one position you are not diversified and your risk management is inexistent, even though your risk tolerance is amazing.

Gambling addiction

What is their approximately net worth/income? There's losing $50K when they only have $50K, and $50K when they're a millionaire. It's not a good sign - usually screams red flags. I wouldn't necessarily believe that they've only lost $50K. Generally, no, it's absolutely not a guaranteed success.

The $50k is not something we necessarily miss or “needed”. I’m just trying to gage if it’s even possible to be profitable?

100% possible, depends if they are just gambling

I mean, it is. But yes the large majority of people never do. I just trade spreads and it works well and is more forgiving with the random “lotto” here and there on indexes but always with excess I’ve already made.

Sure, but for the vast majority of people it’s just gambling,and for those who don’t stay away after a humbling loss, it’s a gambling addiction. Sooner or later the bets get bigger and so do the losses.

Is it possible to be profitable going to Las Vegas? Yes… Likely? …No

Sell covered calls or cash secured puts and collect premium from those traders who buy options.

Works until it doesn’t. The real strategy is realizing you’ve gotten lucky as fuck and walking away for a while until some instrument like SPACS trend and get stupidly hot again

Would you encourage your partner, who lost $50K on lottery tickets, to further pursue the luck? If no, then don’t support it.

Only gamble as much as you are willing to lose. That might be $500 or $50,000. If it is interesting and fun and a learning experience and you can afford it it is worth it. If you are trying to make money investing and create a Nest egg and I suggest something far more boring.

No, just tell them NO!

First decide if he is an options trader or a gambling addict. Is this an investment plan or his ‘job’? Most people don’t lose money while working. Then look at his background. Being very comfortable with at least college math is important. BS at the minimum. Then paper trade for a year. See how he does. Understand most people lose money doing options

Your "partner" has a gambling problem. Run. 

If he lost 50k and still hasn't realised his stupidity what amount is he going to have to lose before you realise you should move on?

Lost 100k like 2 years ago, made 112k since Feb of this year. If I could stop, I would 😂 Anyways, ORCL 140s for Nov

After you lost $100k, what did you do differently? Did you take a break or continue trading right away?

I am a bad gambler, so I have no risk tolerance or bank roll management. If he wants to continue doing this, I agree with other users that he should first do a paper account, set himself some rules, and prove he knows how to make money and KEEP the money. He should have a set of rules that he follows that you check up on cuz I guarantee he'll break 'em the minute he actually invests again.  Rules such as: don't invest more than 20% of your full budget at any moment, don't hold over night (if you are day trading) etc 

If you want to make money in options you need to sell them. Pick a quality asset and own 100 shares and sell calls against it.

Yes my buddy went from over a mil to 80k and back

maybe less than 1% of people can be profitable trading options, why does he or she think he is that small percent

Not sure 🤔 thats why I’m here trying to gage outside perspective. Is there a different form a trading that would be better?

The point of a break is to remove emotion and not revenge trade. So the real question to ask your partner is if they did anything during this down periods besides wait. What you should hear is what they learned and what they’ll do to correct their mistakes.

With learning and correcting mistakes, is it actually even possible to be profitable is my concern?

Is kalshi offering odds on your partner going broke?

I mean how much is he down? Did he lose 50k after making a lot more ?

Lost $50k, after trading for basically 6 months. Maybe made a profit for first 3 months, not as much as $50k but after that profit, put more in then loss.

Never buy, only sell.

Romantic partner or business partner?

Yes. Tell him/her to try selling options instead and convert to #thetagang 95% of all options or some ridiculous number expire worthless.

Ask him what he learned and listen. I guarantee he learned nothing.

If he doesn’t read books on options and isn’t knowledgeable on quantitative data like the greeks then be should be studying that and paper trading. You need to actually study this stuff like you’re in college going to work for a hedge fund and to get the hollistic perspective. Most people fail because they get intimidated by the numbers and just end up trading on hope with no actual insight.  If he wants to learn more online check out SMB capitals stuff on options on youtube. Its like a sport he just has to learn the fundamentals and then make his own strategy based on that

Trading options successfully is very very difficult to do. Most individuals fail and sometimes they fail very badly. If it's part of a compulsive behavior it can be devastating for the trader and everyone around them. On par with the worst kind of substance abuse. "Support" is a double edged sword. Beware.

Your husband isn’t trading. He’s gambling. Might as well put the money in a slot machine.

They are gambling, plain and simple, they will just lose more money until they stop treating it like gambling and start treating it like selling insurance.

they need to take it more seriously, it's not the options fault

How do I buy puts on her partner?

There's no reason to trade such a large amount if you haven't proven to be profitable. The vast majority of plays are still available to a 5k, 2k, or even 1k account. While it's obviously more limiting with a smaller account (e.g. you won't have enough to trade MU) the gain/loss is still percent based and will scale.

This was over a course of 5 months.

Oh I meant a trade that lasts under a month or so. Would be different if he's buying and holding for a year.

Short dated options is gambling. The only people who reliably make money on options are institutions, who have special market-maker exceptions that regular folks don’t, and people who sell options (fractions of profits). Tell him to stay away from it, you’ll lose the rest

Thank you.

Options can be a financial tool or a casino. Which one is he trying to use? If he's a gambler don't let him play. He'll lose everything eventually. Might want to make sure you can log in to all your shared financials and monitor it for a while. If he thinks he understands what he's doing have him teach you. If he can successfully teach you to understand you might consider letting him try again. I wouldn't just take everything he says without a grain of salt though. If he's trying to head to the casino he might just teach you some vague concepts that sound correct enough to convince you. Double check everything If he can't help you understand he probably doesn't understand enough to be using real money.

Tell them to not touch options again. It's like gambling. Imagine losing $50k playing blackjack and then taking a break. You could study all you want but when you come back, you could be up $10k and think I am pretty good at this now. Then go up another $10k and think I can start making bigger bets definitely in now what I'm doing. Then your luck turns and you lose your first $5k and then instead of stopping, you bet another $5k to make it up. Then you lose that and you bet $10k then 20k and before you know it you are down another $50k. It's really now worth it in the long run. Really studying options is only a fraction of what you need. You really need to control your emotions and have very strict rules on the size of each trade and follow those rules. Also you want to know why you make a trade. Anyone can get lucky a few times but without a good strategy that has hard limits, most people lose in the long run. He may have a good month, but that may just make them less cautious the next month when things take a turn and then they lose everything. Have them use an account with $1k on it and unless they can turn that into $5k in a 1 year period, they should just stick to throwing everything the S&P 500.

Thank you for your insight. They began trading with a small amount and turned $300 into about $10k, the first 3 months of trading. Then had those losses. So I’m not sure what to think? If it’s worth those small wins? Or yes if it just too risky and unpredictable.

I turned $500 into $5k overnight once. I could have then turned that $5k into 50k but I just did nothing for a month since I would have been more likely to lose the $5k. If you do a risky trade with $100 or $200 10 times you might win once and feel good about yourself, but if you don't get that one big win it's not sustainable. I wouldn't say I am a good trader or even use options properly. I treat it as gambling in a way now and just do it here or there when the time is right. If you do it a everyday, you force a lot of trades and start losing. The house always wins. There are a lot of people who can turn $300 into $10k but most people give it right back. Some people go from $500 to 100k then down to 10k then up to 60k then down to 20k then to 200k then to 15k. Without a goal you don't know when to stop. If it's just extra money, how much extra do you need. Pretty soon that extra money turns into money you need and before you know it you could have a big hole to fill. Why even take the risk when you can just buy an ETF and not deal with that stress. Your partner probably feels the need to make it back very strongly but that same feeling can make them lost even more and really spiral.

Thank you. This is helpful.

Addiction has many forms. You'll never be able to trust them with finances.

Does he have a mentor? Before he lost 50k, what was his P&L?

Nope. Don't really care what anyone else says. If you manage to lose 50k trading options that is symptomatic of you having some sort of problem that prevents you from evaluating risk and preventing it. A lot of people who trade options are no different from other breeds of gambling addicts. You can learn how to trade and become profitable without losing any significant amount of money, and if you're ever going to be any good at it that's how you would pursue it. It's just as bad that it was over 5 months because at no point did your partner realize the statistics behind how much money he was losing and apply logic to his risk profile. Trading profitably for a living is as statistically likely as becoming a professional athlete. If your partner told you he wanted to play in the NBA tomorrow, how likely would you be to support that? Do you really think he has the work ethic and ability to make something like that happen at this point in his life? Do you really think he has the mental fortitude and actual desire to work that hard? Most people don't, and most people underestimate how much work is actually required to an unbelievable degree. I wish you the best of luck with the friction that is going to be caused by the fact that if your partner starts trading again, it's indicative of him having a problem.

Divorce your partner

My partner is forcing the issue of trading, it’s just something we are thinking about again. We are deciding if we want too or not lol The $50k was something we knew there was a possibility of losing, and not something we necessarily needed or would miss. We understood the risk Lol I’m not sure the hostility is some of the comments, trading again or not it is not life or death for us. Some of the comments are helpful in our decision making, and some seem very drastic. If he not good at trading or showing addictive trades, yes obviously we would not continue to pursue. He has not traded for almost a year.

Your partner should not trade options again until they have identified specifically what went wrong with their strategy over that 5 month period. One or two trades leading to a 50K loss, I can understand. But a 5 month period means there is a pattern of error happening.

You a real one for sticking w him

Definitively try to lose more money gambling than learning an actual skill 😃 /s

buy long term calls and you probably will not have that problem

Being profitable as a retail options trader is akin to choosing an ultra-elite career (becoming a navy seal, an astronaut, pediatric neurosurgery): * It is absolutely possible to do it * 95-99% of the people that try it will fail * the ones that do succeed must have a dedication to the craft There is an army of PhDs in math related sciences, finance and sales professionals using the cutting edge of technology, whose full time job is to try to find a way to make a profit in the market. You need to find a way to compete with those people as a single unit. In all likelihood, your partner is gambling rather than investing. That can be OK too, as long as he is gambling responsibly.

That was essentially $50k of tuition, what kind of education is shown for it?